Written by Lucille of bereaved.org
Make the Right Move for a New Life After Loss
Everyone who experiences the loss of someone close to them grieves in their own unique way. At some point, while grieving, you will find a sense of hope and a desire to move forward in your own life. For some people, the best way to move forward and start fresh after a loss is to move to a new home. You don’t want to make any drastic decisions in the immediate throes of grief, but as you process your loss, you may find that relocating is best.
When Moving Could Be the Fresh Start You Need
Even with feelings of sadness, moving forward through grief requires you not only to acknowledge emotions but also to actively engage in healing. A grief counselor or support group can be helpful, but you need the support of friends and family, too. Some people who are grieving move to be near those people they are closest to because having that support helps them heal.
As you begin to heal, it’s OK to create a fresh start in life where you can thrive again. One contributor to The Good Men Project says that in order to thrive after a loss, look at moving forward as a fresh start, a chance to reinvent yourself. This is a time when you can take a close look at every aspect of your life and make a change to pursue a dream. You don’t have to move on from grief or forget the life you created with your loved one. But you can move forward in creating a new life full of joy.
The Nitty Gritty
Once you decide to move, the next step is to work out the details, including selling your home and finding where you’ll start your next chapter. If you haven’t sold a home before or it has been a while, there are a few things to consider: making any updates or repairs to get your home ready to sell, finding out how much your home is worth and finding a real estate agent. Deciding how to price your home can be tricky because you want to get the best value possible without overpricing the listing. Look into what comparable homes have sold for in your area and try to figure out if your market is warm or cold.
You also want to do plenty of research about where you’ll be moving. Ask yourself what you really want from the move. Are you moving to be close to family? Do you want to be in a neighborhood where you’re close to cultural events, or do you want to be somewhere peaceful and relaxing? Make sure you’re honest with yourself about what you’re looking for, and think everything through so you don’t make a rash decision. When it comes to the logistics of buying and selling, The Balance recommends that you sell before buying because doing so is almost always more profitable.
The Tough Stuff
Even when you know you’re doing what’s best for you, the process of packing up and deciding which of your loved one’s possessions to keep and which ones to leave behind, will bring up some big emotions. This is just as much a part of the grieving process as it is practical, so lean into these emotions and don’t feel bad if it’s a struggle. It’s common to feel guilt about getting rid of things. To make it easier, consider how you can part with the things you don’t need in a way that will do some good, like asking friends or relatives to take what they can of your loved one’s clothing and donate the rest to a good cause.
Remember that while these items hold the memory of your loved one, the most valuable memories will go with you. Parting with these items and relocating to move forward in life doesn’t mean you’re moving on from your loss. It simply means you’re doing what you need to in order to heal and create your own life after loss.
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